Part 1: Ah Ma 👵🏼
It all started a few years ago when I lost my grandmother, fondly known by her grandkids as Ah Ma to a sudden bout of pneumonia. Her passing was a tough pill to swallow; after all, she was the anchor of the family and was known to be a beacon of kindness and love.
I stood by the hallways of SJMC sobbing while my mother and her siblings huddled around in a circle trying to figure out what’s next. Unlike the grandkids, they had to toughen up just moments after their mother had passed because like it or not, it’s now their responsibility to handle the aftermath.
The following weeks were a real eye-opener as I witnessed Ah Ma’s children struggling to handle her passing. Everything from the funeral arrangements to the settling of the estate seems to cause friction between the siblings. Looking back, this was to be expected since none of us was prepared to lose her that soon.
Ah Ma was not a wealthy woman and I always thought only rich families would have a hard time dealing with death. I knew I was wrong as I watched one of my aunts arguing with her brother on the stupidest thing ever, what type of food to serve at the wake. How would Ah Ma feel if she can see us now?
“Something is wrong with the way we deal with death. This is nothing new, we all know it’s coming so why aren’t we doing anything to ease the journey of the people we leave behind?”
Part 2: Ah Kong 👴🏼
我的祖父，孙子孙女都爱唤他“阿公”。他只能站在一旁无助地看着孩子们操办祖母的身后事。阿公年事已高，面对阿嫲的离世，他悲痛万分也疲惫不堪。整个煎熬的过程中，我真的不记得他 对谁说过什么话。
几个月后，悲伤再次降临在我们身上。阿公发现脸上出现异常状态而到医院检查，却被诊断出患上腮腺癌第四期，但阿公不以为然，甚至拒绝接受任何的治疗。
Ah Kong was known for his pragmatism within the family, always one to be prepared and logical in whatever he does. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he went home from the hospital and started to give his children instructions on how to deal with his death, who to inform when the time comes, organised his documents and even had time to clean his room.
It was odd to watch him literally plan for his own death but when he passed not long after that, we finally realised the value of planning and communication. The death of 2 equally loved individuals within the same family somehow felt so different. Why?
“All it takes to ease the burdens of your loved ones when you’re gone is just a bit of planning and communication. Why isn’t everyone else doing this already?”
Part 3: Turning Grief into a Life Mission 💪🏻
Both these deaths hit me hard in different ways. Ah Ma’s was too sudden and particularly painful because she was my biggest supporter. My grieving process revolved around plenty of self-hatred and blame. Why didn’t I visit her more often when she was still around?
Ah Kong’s passing was even more devastating because I was 10,588km away in London with one of my cousins when he took his last breath. Again, I spiralled down a path of guilt. Repeatedly chastising myself for not staying behind and being there for the man who gave so much and received so little.
我来自一个非常典型的亚洲家庭。在那里，悲伤只是属于个人的旅程，没有人会公开谈论自己的感受。不幸的是，在我的家庭里，心理健康似乎并不是大家注重的。这几个月来，我的生活被内 疚、黑暗和孤独所吞噬。
我开始沉迷死亡的课题。在Reddit上阅读到一些家庭如何应对死亡的故事，看了无数个关于一些家庭在最后一刻陪伴在他们垂死亲人身边的视频。后来我才发现，自己根本不晓得如何处理自己的感情。
Until one day, I decided to dive deeper into understanding why both of these deaths were so different. For weeks, I laid on my bed staring at the ceiling wondering if there’s anything I can do to stop this from happening again. Not just for my family but for billions of families everywhere. I wondered if technology has a role to play in solving this basic human problem?
就在这一刻，我突然灵光一现，齿轮开始在我的脑海里转动，我感到特别兴奋，因为这是我能做的！第二天，我毅然辞去了工作，开始为Bereev规划蓝图。两年后的今天，Bereev不仅仅是一个 应用程式了。
It is the culmination of 1 family’s pain and pure conviction that others should never have to go through senseless confusion and overwhelming burden during the toughest moment of our lives. It is my personal grieving process and I dedicate it to the 2 people who started it all, Ah Ma and Ah Kong.
Bereev is a Death Preparation App that helps you prepare yourself and your loved ones for your own death. Sign up for your FREE account 安全措施.
📝 Plan
Leave instructions for your funeral, financial and personal arrangements.
📂 Vault
储存重要文件，比如您的遗嘱、保险、医疗记录等等。
💌 Message
Leave messages for your loved ones which will be sent after you’re gone.
👥 Share
Invite the people you trust to view your plan and customise their access.
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